His name is J.A.R.V.I.S.

He is the swankiest butler computer.

He has a red back-light keyboard and Beats speakers.

He is lovely.

Marvin was also lovely.

Until she decided to give me the silent treatment.

Then she just shut down on me all the time.

She wouldn’t even give me most of my stuff back.

She and I are through.

J.A.R.V.I.S. and I will be very happy together, I am certain.